Capitulo 57
Chapter 57 – All or Nothing
«…Why isn’t he coming?»
Marien stood in the doorway of the third outer wall, shivering in the cold night air. She wrapped her arms around herself and shook her feet for warmth.
The lady had gone out alone on some errand and had not yet returned, which caused Marien great anxiety.
What kind of errand could take her so long?
Marien was anxious, feeling that her unsteady steps might trip her up at any moment, but there was nothing she could do as the lady had insisted on going alone.
After the encounter with Sir Gelwood, the lady’s condition did not seem the same.
One side of her cheek was bright red and her eyes, unfocused and lost, seemed devoid of pep.
Despite Marien’s repeated recommendations for rest, Miss had insisted that she had something to do.
«The weather is getting colder and colder…»
In the end.
Tap.
A light drizzle began to fall and Marien hurriedly pulled out an umbrella.
Although it was nothing more than cloth stretched over a wooden frame, it was enough to protect her from the drizzle.
«Miss! Where are you?»
Thus, Marien ran through the vast ducal castle, searching for her young miss.
**
«Hik… Huuuh…»
Lermian sobbed uncontrollably in the middle of the street, not even knowing why she was crying.
Standing in the drizzle, she was crying inconsolably.
Clinging to the ointment Elden had given her.
She didn’t know if it was raindrops or tears falling on the ointment.
She didn’t know if it was raindrops or tears that fell on her head.
She felt resentment.
Now that it was all over, the help offered seemed like a condolence to a monster that had become a monster, and that made her sad.
Y.
To think that her change was real because of this help made her miserable.
If she had acknowledged her change, which she had denied and ignored until now, would the outcome have been different?
If she had not obsessed over an elusive eel, but instead focused on the three bugs, perhaps she would not have had to go through this catastrophe.
He would have been freed from hell thanks to a discreet and silent compromise duel.
She would not have had to feel the utter futility and terrible helplessness.
Now she understood how foolish and ignorant she was to believe that human nature never changes.
Her tears contained all those meanings.
Madness born of stupid obsession, regret, despair and self-reproach.
Now she realized that she was the real fool, forging a twisted pride while despising those who seemed foolish to her.
After crying for a long time, Lermian wiped her tears.
Her whole body was soaked.
Her hair.
His clothes.
His face.
Her neck.
His hands.
Y…
Her heart.
Click.
He opened the lid of the ointment.
The ointment was an immaculate white semi-solid.
It contrasted with the darkness that had consumed her heart.
It was dazzling white, like the snowy fields of the northern territories.
A white too pure for someone as dirty as she was.
She removed the bandage from her left hand.
She looked at the scars of that day on her palm.
Four unhealed nail marks were clearly visible.
She took some ointment with her index finger.
He applied it to the scars.
He felt a sharp prick.
A stabbing pain came over him.
He liked the pain.
Because he deserved to feel pain and suffering.
The pain of the healing process was like a reminder of what a sinner must endure.
Smiling, she reached forward with her left hand.
She tilted it to give him a bow.
The rain falling on her began to wash away the ointment.
How could a sinner deserve healing?
Having caused Gelwood great pain with her wrong actions, soon her father would feel the bitter pain of his youngest daughter’s disgrace.
Moreover, if things went on like this, it would make vain the efforts of those who were preparing a grand parade for the winner of the engagement duel and for herself, and would cause great disappointment and pain to the people of the North who were eagerly awaiting the parade.
Children would cry and adults would be somber.
The joyful memories of talking about the engagement duel would be tarnished, and they would not look forward to the next one.
Thus, she would become a greater sinner than Daron and his group.
She had sent letters to Duke Kellyd and Marquis Rosfell directly for that reason.
Healing her wounds would be like running away from her sins.
After telling Daron and his group to pay for their sins, she could not run away from hers.
It would be like repeating the stupidity of the past.
The four nail marks should remain as a stark reminder that she was no different from them, a proof for life.
She smiles.
‘Yeah, I’m not… different from them… just trash.’
Lermian, who let out another bitter laugh, watched as the ointment gradually disappeared.
He hoped it would clear up.
Along with his stupid desire to dare to dream of healing.
Along with his stupid belief that he was different from them.
Just at that moment.
The rain washing away the ointment suddenly stopped.
«…….»
She looked up.
Elden was standing there with an umbrella.
She met Elden’s eyes as he blocked the rain that had been washing away the ointment.
He was smiling at her.
What did that mean?
Why was he blocking the rain?
Why did it stop her from leaving the scars as a lifelong memory?
Why did it stop her decision not to wash away her unforgivable sins?
Why, sometimes, when she needed him, did he ignore her, only to show up unexpectedly when she didn’t?
Why did he?
Why does he continue to make her miserable?
At the academy, he trampled on her outstretched hand, making her miserable, and now he was preventing her from throwing away the help she had received, making her miserable again.
There was nothing to be miserable about anymore.
Did he not want her to wash off the ointment?
Did he want her to let the wound heal cleanly?
Did he want her not to blame herself by looking at the scar?
Did he not want her to throw away the help that had been rendered to her at the last moment?
But I am a sinner who brought disappointment and pain to my family and the people of the North.
As a person of the ducal house of Winterfell, I am a sinner unworthy of that title.
How can someone like me heal my wounds?
How can I rise again when I have ruined a celebration for everyone with the betrothal duel?
Come to think of it, it was all caused by my own mistakes.
It was a mistake to go to the academy despite the family’s opposition, risking the curse.
It was a mistake to endure the harsh treatment.
It was a mistake to graduate.
It was a mistake to use the engagement duel, knowing it was a sacred family tradition and a great festival for the northern territories.
It was wrong to keep you from retiring.
It was wrong to slap your cheek.
And now, I will make a big mistake in front of my father and the people.
There is no way to hide it anymore, and I don’t want to hide it.
I, who pretended to be noble and acted ostentatiously, am no different from Daron, Blond and Kyle.
No, maybe I’m even more disgusting than them.
I just want to tell you one thing.
Following his silent smile, she smiled brightly.
Tears once again welled up in eyes I thought were dry.
She raised her hand to her scratched right cheek and spoke softly.
Words she never imagined she would say only a few days ago.
«…I’m sorry, Elden.»
His smile faltered.
His face blurred.
Soon.
«Oh, miss! Please wake up!»
With a bright smile, Lermian lost consciousness.
**
Kingdom of Elpherion.
The kingdom that ruled the northwestern part of the Tmirias continent, wielding the greatest influence among the five kingdoms that dominated the continent.
It was the second most powerful kingdom, after the Empire of Aetheria, which ruled the heart of the continent.
The southern part of the kingdom was an immense granary that guaranteed an inexhaustible supply of food. The western part, rich in marine resources, bordered the sea. The eastern part, abundant in useful minerals, was a mining center. The northern part, although harsh, enjoyed prosperity thanks to the export of excellent thermal products and long-lasting ice, developed with advanced technology.
In addition, King Elpherion, who ruled the kingdom from the capital, ruled with a benevolent character, making it a good place to live, backed by outstanding academic achievements and the strongest military power.
Of course.
That the land was abundant and life good did not guarantee peace.
Externally, the kingdom appeared peaceful, but human greed knew no bounds, and the struggles of noble society were at their peak.
The tendency of the privileged to manipulate the less privileged to achieve their desires has been an inveterate characteristic of intelligent beings, and secret organizations, which have existed since ancient times, have become more cunning and evil with the passage of time, spreading their roots wherever people lived.
And the northern territories of Winterfell.
Inside one of the secret organizations based there.
An irresistible commission came from an anonymous client.
[Lermian Winterfell]
It was a request that wished eternal darkness upon that name, which had just seen the light of the world.
It was another act of vengeance born of a feeling of revenge.